It's My Birthday Today !

I dunno if I should be happy or sad right now...

Happy becoz it's my birthday, a day I used to look forward to celebrate with my dear old friends from school and my old bf. He is not with me anymore and I am still not used to this fact.

Every year since I was 13, there is this wonderful group of chums from school who will never fail to spend this day, if not, earlier with me. All because my family dun have the habit of celebrating birthdays at home. I will make sure I celebrate my children's and my hubby's birthdays when I have my own little family in the future :)

From the years 2000 to 2004, the boyfriend used to spend this special day with me without fail too. There'd be a nice dinner, lovely presents and a night to remember. He even single-handledly organised my 21st birthday chalet for me and gave me unforgettable memories and tears. I can still remember after that chalet, we won 4D (starter prize only) and it was just nice enough to cover the cost for the chalet and food. All my 4D wins were associated with him. I dun seem to have any luck now in striking 4D, Toto or whatever lottery :(

Sad for I know that I am no longer young and from __ years onwards, a woman's going downhill. Especially so for a sadly single lady like me. I even comtemplated not celebrating my birthday from next year onwards to "hide" my age ! But the usual gang who do so already knows my actual age ! Gosh ! What am I uttering here now???

My birthday resolutions/wishes this year is to :

1) Find a good job with a fat pay cheque, cool-looking male colleagues and a charming boss !
2) Find a good boyfriend with a fat wallet, cool-looking but no need too handsome and with a charming personality
3) Eat more, do more yoga & gym !
4) Get to earn more money so I can contribute to my mother more and travel more !
5) Strike 4D & Toto more !!!
and last but not least,
6) Hope for World Peace, Good Health and Happiness to Everyone out there !!

But seriously, all I hope for my birthday is to be happy always. What's the point of myself having good health when I dun have any loved ones with me ?? All I want is just to have someone who loves me for who I am, can tolerate all my nonsense and who will be there for me till I die....