He Cried when She Died....
Been away from the blogging world for quite sometime as my paternal grandma had passed away and it had somehow changed my way of thinking recently.
It was funny though, when you were still a scrawny kid, you used to play together and eat together with me. I still remember the tiny snooker table set and baby tricycle you and I used to take turns to ride in Ah-Ye's home.
You and I were born just 9 months apart; both were born in the year of the Monkey (which explains why we both love monkeys, apes, gorillas, bananas etc or anything that are associated with Monkeys when we were children). We are MONKEYS ! And we behave like MONKEYS too !!
Remember how we used to take pics with Ah-Ye during his birthday/s ?
Do you know that his birthday is exactly the same as mine ?
Do you know that my dad, your dad's bro shared the same fate as you do ?
All of us share the same surnames. We were so near, yet so far.
When I saw you again, the last being Ah-Ye's death 5 years ago, I feel a tinge of connection. Never before had such a feeling engulf me. Maybe coz I was never told of our family history until recently. I thought such complicated thingy exists only in HK dramas. Just like I thought the young and my loved ones would not be taken away from me so soon.....
Why was it that when we were kids, everything seemed so innocent and perfect? As we grew up and learnt of the truth, we drifted apart. True enough, kids are so inhabited when they crap together but why when they grow up, everything became so foreign?
I first saw your reddened eyes during Ah-Ye's funeral wake in 2001. You were clearly devastated and broken-hearted. Family relations did not mean much to me then as I was very much engaged in my own world of friends and then bf. I did not comfort you on your loss. I didn't do so too, just now, when you were the only one heard wailing in Mandai Crematorium Service hall 2's viewing gallery. I guess our family do not openly express out our feelings although they do care and love one another. We are very much a typical Chinese family. I had wanted to give you a light pat on your shoulders just now, to show that I understand your pain and feeling of lost and abandonment. Somehow, my hands forbidded me from doing so.
You are our family's first grandson （长子迪孙）and is cute. Being traditional grandparents, you were very much the apple of their eyes. I remember Ah-Ma would mention your name with pride and joy whenever we visit her during CNY in the recent decades. Even my Mother commented that you were a handsome kid. Especially when she last saw you 5 years ago too. I was so envious.
But behind your good looking face lies a sad childhood. Something which I got to know only in the recent years. I am sorry. I finally understand.
I feel a lot for you. Maybe because you share the same fate as my dad? Tomorrow, we will see each other again but I wonder when will we ever meet again?? I hope it wouldn't be another funeral till we meet again.
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/4767.html
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/407.html
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/309.html
It was funny though, when you were still a scrawny kid, you used to play together and eat together with me. I still remember the tiny snooker table set and baby tricycle you and I used to take turns to ride in Ah-Ye's home.
You and I were born just 9 months apart; both were born in the year of the Monkey (which explains why we both love monkeys, apes, gorillas, bananas etc or anything that are associated with Monkeys when we were children). We are MONKEYS ! And we behave like MONKEYS too !!
Remember how we used to take pics with Ah-Ye during his birthday/s ?
Do you know that his birthday is exactly the same as mine ?
Do you know that my dad, your dad's bro shared the same fate as you do ?
All of us share the same surnames. We were so near, yet so far.
When I saw you again, the last being Ah-Ye's death 5 years ago, I feel a tinge of connection. Never before had such a feeling engulf me. Maybe coz I was never told of our family history until recently. I thought such complicated thingy exists only in HK dramas. Just like I thought the young and my loved ones would not be taken away from me so soon.....
Why was it that when we were kids, everything seemed so innocent and perfect? As we grew up and learnt of the truth, we drifted apart. True enough, kids are so inhabited when they crap together but why when they grow up, everything became so foreign?
I first saw your reddened eyes during Ah-Ye's funeral wake in 2001. You were clearly devastated and broken-hearted. Family relations did not mean much to me then as I was very much engaged in my own world of friends and then bf. I did not comfort you on your loss. I didn't do so too, just now, when you were the only one heard wailing in Mandai Crematorium Service hall 2's viewing gallery. I guess our family do not openly express out our feelings although they do care and love one another. We are very much a typical Chinese family. I had wanted to give you a light pat on your shoulders just now, to show that I understand your pain and feeling of lost and abandonment. Somehow, my hands forbidded me from doing so.
You are our family's first grandson （长子迪孙）and is cute. Being traditional grandparents, you were very much the apple of their eyes. I remember Ah-Ma would mention your name with pride and joy whenever we visit her during CNY in the recent decades. Even my Mother commented that you were a handsome kid. Especially when she last saw you 5 years ago too. I was so envious.
But behind your good looking face lies a sad childhood. Something which I got to know only in the recent years. I am sorry. I finally understand.
I feel a lot for you. Maybe because you share the same fate as my dad? Tomorrow, we will see each other again but I wonder when will we ever meet again?? I hope it wouldn't be another funeral till we meet again.
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/4767.html
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/407.html
http://flash.sunvv.com/a/309.html
posted by lonelychinesegal at
4/09/2006 11:56:00 PM
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